All You Need

I'm at the computer lab killing time before my next class.. Food and drinks aren't allowed but I've been munching and sipping nonstop for the entire hour I've been here.

Every day is a constant struggle for direction. I feel like I would actually get somewhere if I made up my mind about a destination, but everytime I do I change my mind the next day. All I know is that I want my life to be full of love and happiness. Success doesn't mean shit to me anymore. You can keep your 24/7 on the phone, constantly on the road lifestyle. Being on a plane and going from airport to airport for 24 hours straight made me realize that is not the way life is meant to be lived. The greatest blessing God can give me is neither money nor fame. It's love.

Fuck the rest.

I love my friends.

I love my boyfriend.

And after today I will love my life again.

They say you should always do what you fear most, right?

I want to ask somebody what I should do but I know that even though I don't have a clue, there's no one better to ask than myself. I do love him and want to be with him, but I feel like life is passing me by without getting to know myself any better. Every day I spend with him I learn more and more about him, but it takes time away from others and puts my own growth in 2nd place. The worst part about all this is, every time I want to stretch and use my wings I don't. Love keeps me grounded.. but what if I want to fly?

An epiphany... sorta

I was wiping down tables at work when it finally dawned on me why I lack the passion to pursue my goals. The reason is that I am CONTENT with my life. I feel no need to change it in any way. Not sure if this is a good or bad thing. I guess you can say it's both.