There's a problem with breaking up with somebody simply because you want to be alone if you still love him with all your heart. I want to call him every other minute to see if he's okay.. if he's tired or hungry, or cuz I don't want him to hurt too much.

I want

something new. I want to make new friends, not acquaintances. I want to do something everyday that I've never done before. I want to feel the thrill of doing something I know I shouldn't. I want to smile at strangers and feel perfectly safe when they come over to talk to me. I want to dance till I can't dance anymore. I want to look forward to the weekends the way I used to. I want to feel young again.

I love you.

I don't know where life is gonna take me. I don't mean to sound cliche or cheesy, but I mean it when I say that it doesn't matter as long as we're together.

Ha

A little over a year ago I could have related to this so much.

You’re not my life, but you’re the one I want to spend it with. You’re not my world, but you’re the best thing in it.

I'm just going to type whatever comes to my head. Sorry if it doesn't make sense at times.

Is a chapter of my life coming to a close or am I still in the middle of it, or is it just beginning? We don't really know when a significant change of scene truly occurred until we look at our lives in retrospect. I understand that in many ways life is the same. The people I know are exactly the same, doing the same things they used to do when I knew them best. It is truly our decisions and outlook about the things that happen to us that matter most. Things may seem out of our control but we must recognize that everything is driven by our choices. We choose who to surround ourselves with, how to spend our free time, what we find pleasure in.. and all these things determine maybe not the person we are, but definitely the person we will become.

Monday Rain

Today didn't turn out to be such a good day.. Or yesterday, I should say. Today is Monday and a brand new day! I don't think I ever said 'day' so many times consecutively. Anyway, I was about to give up on studying and go to sleep but I got a sudden surge of energy which is all for the better cuz I really need to study, and when I'm alone awake at this odd time of the day I'm more aware of myself than usual. Kind of hard to explain but I guess I don't have to cuz I have no idea who reads this shit, if anybody. Goodnight!

Can we stay like this forever?

After I arrived in my garage today and shut off the engine, I sat in my car for no more then 10 seconds to wonder at my life. Even fairytales can't be this good.. I have the most loving and supportive family. We got hit hard by this fucked up economy, but we're still standing and as happy as ever. I go to a good school and get good grades. I have true friends, which I honestly doubt most people can say. I have an amazing boyfriend who loves me more than I thought human beings were capable. Oh, and I have a job.. which definitely seems like a fairytale to most of us in this day and age. It pays minimum and I only get 4 hour shifts 4 days a week, but they feed me and my bank account which is plenty to be thankful for.

I hope things stay gold.