Failure is the mother of success.

A year ago I had one of the craziest and most unforgettable nights of my life. Tonight I had one of the quietest and most romantic. I'm thankful to have been able to experience both of these kinds of nights.

At times I think of my failures. From getting kicked out of the place that was my home for over an year to having my internship given to someone else.. I think of them, get upset, and push them away. I don't know why I think of them over and over but honestly, with these bitter thoughts comes a valuable emotion: determination. The feeling in my chest I can't ignore. It receives my pain and makes me stronger for it. It takes my failures and presents me with greater chances of success. Determination is my medicine.

My family is the cutest.

Ugh

Annoyed as shit right now. Thanks people.

Damn time is flying by. It feels like the next day I might be waking up halfway around the world.

Note to Self

If he had given a shit about you then, you would have been in this relationship for over 2 years now.. Imagine that. You would not have been able to dance, flirt with and kiss all those guys. Nor could you have attended all those parties and raves, or experienced a whole new world on your own. Be thankful that you once had a time in your life where you could do whatever the fuck you wanted without a care for anyone else in the world. You would not be the strong, independent person you are today without those years. Maybe he didn't give a shit about you then for a reason. Maybe everything was ultimately for your purpose and growth. Maybe his current role in your life came in at the right place. Don't regret anything. Forgive him. Forgive yourself. Let him love you now and give you what you always deserved.

Fuck ya'll

I feel like shit and nobody knows cuz nobody bothers to find out how I'm doing.

I Like the Way You Work It

I think I've gained quite some weight in the last couple weeks. I may be the one to blame for the most part, but it never would have happened without the help of others. I feel like everyone is on a "Get Cindy Back to Being High School Chubby" mission. Whatever, it's summertime and the living's easy. I'm gonna eat what I want, when I want and lose it all when I'm thousands of miles away from everybody in Kazakhstan. HAH! In yo face. But the thing about it is, apparently there's some pretty good restaurants in Kazakhstan.. there's also no drinking age... and no getting rid of my appetite the size of a full-grown man's.... Nah, I'm gonna work it, you'll see!

I decided to go for a minor in Psychology. Yeah, it's completely different from Political Science, but I believe they complement each other somewhat. I know it's gonna be hard but I'm gonna work that too!

A special "shout out" (lol) to Caresse Isabelle Fernandez. The one who's always been there for me when I needed her and someone I know has the potential to conquer it all. Work it, gurl.

The Happiest Place on Earth

I don't have much time to blog cuz my parents are gonna be here any moment now to swoop me off to Sam's. They want my input on the kind of snacks FIDM students would buy. I'm thinking lots of diet soda and granola bars, idk.

I went to DISNEYLAND yesterday!! It was magical. Andrew got work off for like the first time ever and we went from 10AM till 10PM. When we got to his car he surprised me with a white gold band with 5 little diamonds, engraved with the date we got together. He had it on hold with a $50 deposit at the mall for 2 months until he could save up enough money to actually purchase it. That did it for me. I'm sold to the idea that this is the real thing. I'm not naive, dear readers, so don't think that the sight of diamonds made me fall in love. It only convinced me of his love and the measures he would go to for me, to show me again. Today is our 6 months. I would have never thought in a million years that I would be here with him. I can't think of anything else to do for him except buy him the clothes he's been telling me he needs. It infuriates me sometimes how he spends money so casually on others but refuses to buy himself even the simplest things. I'm gonna go buy him those simple things before I see him tonight. It's the least I could do for the man who buys me diamonds.

Summer Days Just Sittin' Around

So, I'm gonna take a moment out of my lazy life to blog about my utter laziness... Time has flown by since finals ended, but at the same time they don't seem like they ended only 11 days ago. I see people stressing about finals or working, too busy to relax even for a minute and wonder, "Was I like that?" Perhaps this semester was simply a breeze for me. I have a lot of factors and people to thank for that. A 4.0 for the first time in my life! I celebrated with my closest friend from CSU Long Beach (who also earned a 4.0 and got on the Dean's Honor List for the first time this semester) by eating at a Mexican spot near USC. Delish.

These days I've just been wasting away.. or, that's how other people would see it. The way I see it, I'm spending my days relaxing and enjoying the simple things in life. My days consist of: waking up late, playing with my nephew, running errands for my mama, reading books I've heard about but never got to read, talking on the phone, and maaaybe going out. Oh, and eating (a lot). I'm currently eating toast with butter and orange jam (courtesy of my parents and MGM Grand of Las Vegas). I'm not sure exactly what I expected out of summer. I suppose a lot more parties and glamor at night, but my days have definitely been sweeter than I expected. My laziness is saving quite some money, which will have to go into a lot of different things. Kazakhstan is a little over a month away and I can't wait. I'm only worried about the course work but I'm sure if anyone can handle it, I can. I'm not cocky.. just confident (: My parents are also investing money into opening a little snack shop inside the FIDM building in Downtown LA. For the first time in months I prayed to God that they.. WE would do well. They really deserve a break.

I would have kept my Xanga if I could, but the stalkers and undesirable readers were getting out of hand. I somewhat regret having to abandon it because I posted a lot of meaningful blogs there, at times revealing my innermost thoughts of which I was afraid to voice aloud. I hope I can do the same here, witnessed only by the eyes of innocent readers with honorable intentions. With that, I'll end for today. Till next time!

Fresh Start

Thought it was time for a new blog. I think I'll stick to this one for a while.